


i wanna kiss your lips

by the_jennster



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: All Your Faves Are Aro/Ace I Don't Make The Rules, Aromantic Agatha Wellbelove, Author Projecting onto Agatha Wellbelove, Demisexual Penelope Bunce, Discussions of Asexuality, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, I Do, Oh yeah and the entire gang is polyamorous, POV Penelope Bunce, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Relationship Discussions, Shep is queer and likes to teach his friends about queerness, except the benefits are kissing your friend, if you count lovers as mostly-platonic polyamorous girlfriends who kiss each other, so that's what counts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27763885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_jennster/pseuds/the_jennster
Summary: “Well, for starters, I don’t actually have that many friends aside from you lot nowadays, but there’s also the fact that most people aren’t down for casually kissing their friends,” she remarks, almost bitterly.“I would be."In which Penny helps Agatha to figure out her sexuality (and Penny learns a little something about hers along the way).
Relationships: Penelope Bunce/Agatha Wellbelove, Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Shepard/Simon Snow (referenced)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 13
Collections: Agatha Wellbelove fics





	i wanna kiss your lips

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank [Charly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigeonfluff) for both the idea of Pegatha sexuality sorting and also for betaing this fic and correcting my many gratuitous grammar errors. This is about 100% me projecting my own frustrations with romantic feelings onto Agatha, who is SO ARO CODED and i hope she gets the chance to sort that out in awtwb. If not, I'll always have this fic, in which a bit of sapphic polyam smooching leads to good things for everyone.  
>  ~~also i am definitely implying that shep, simon, and baz have regular monstery threeways but no i will never be the one to write it~~  
>  ~~also yes it is named after a girl in red song it's wlw what did you expect~~

Agatha slides onto the couch dramatically, glass of wine in her hand barely swaying. “It’s just so  _ frustrating _ ,” she moans, taking a sip and propping her feet up on Penny’s knees. Nights like these, when Shep is over at Simon and Baz’s doing magic knows what (Penny frankly doesn’t want to know-- she loves all of them, she really does, but she meant it when she wanted them to keep their sexual habits to themselves), Agatha comes over to drink a few glasses of wine and watch terrible Normal movies. It’s a habit they’ve developed, one that Penny is grateful for now that things have calmed down.

They graduated three years ago, as crazy as it sounds. She and Baz are finishing their degrees, Simon is working at a bakery, and Shep has gotten a job as a journalist surprisingly easily (she wonders if he has some sort of connections or magical influence, but they broke that demonic contract after he came home with them from America). Agatha travels occasionally, spending her parent’s money without much of a care, but they’ve all settled down a bit. After all, saving the World of Mages and magic as they knew it not once but  _ twice _ had been a bit too much adventure for their lifetimes. Now, all Penny wanted to do was  _ breathe _ .

“I mean, I love these romance movies, I really do, but they’re just so  _ unrealistic _ ,” Agatha complains, taking another sip of her wine.

“I thought you liked these movies,” Penny remarks, smirking a little as Agatha shoots her a scowl.

“I  _ like _ them, but…” She sighs, face falling. “I don’t know, I just… Don’t know if I want that? Don’t know if I  _ can _ have that?”

Penny clutches a hand to her chest. “You’re telling me you  _ don’t _ want to swap places with your doppleganger and marry a prince?”

“Spoilers!” Agatha swats her shoulder, grinning once again.

“It’s not my fault Shep loves this stuff.” He’s almost as bad as Agatha, watching cheesy rom-com after rom-com whenever they cuddle together on the couch, whispering his favorite quotes into her ear in time as the actors on the screen.

They banter like that, back and forth, making commentary on the movie more than paying attention to the movie itself, and as the credits begin to roll, Penny stands, collecting their glasses as Agatha stays curled up on the end of the couch.

“It’s weird,” she mutters, almost to herself, though Penny can still hear her from the kitchen. “Not knowing how your feelings work, not knowing what to  _ do _ . I wish…” Another frustrated sigh. “I wish I had someone who would be willing to let me figure things out with them, you know? Simon’s the only person I’ve dated and, well, he’s changed  _ now _ , but he didn’t used to be so--”

Penny thinks back on her conversations with Simon this past year, the way he talks about Baz and Shep and even  _ himself _ . “Open?”

“Yeah,” Agatha agrees, blue eyes jumping to Penny as she walks back in the room and settles down on the couch next to her.

“Why don’t you ask one of your friends?” Penny asks. She’s never had a reason to doubt her heterosexuality, always solid in the belief that she liked boys, that she would date one and marry one and have kids with one, but if dating Shepard had taught her anything, it was that sexuality was complicated and could change over time. Hell, if being friends with  _ Simon _ had taught her anything, it was that sexuality was complicated.

“Well, for starters, I don’t actually  _ have _ that many friends aside from you lot nowadays, but there’s also the fact that most people aren’t down for casually kissing their friends,” she remarks, almost bitterly.

“I would be,” Penny says without thinking, a particularly un-Penny thing to do but true nonetheless (she likes to blame the wine for her impulsivity, though she barely drank).

Agatha jolts back in her seat, staring at Penny. “Really?”

“I mean, there’s nothing wrong with a little experimentation between friends,” she says. “So long as both parties involved are aware it’s a casual thing, and since Shepard and I agreed that we could date other people so long as we talk about it-- though that was mostly so that he could date Si--”

Soft lips cover her own mid-word, cutting her off as Agatha’s hand comes to rest on arm, mouth moving gently, before pulling back.

“You talk too much,” she whispers, and this time Penny kisses her. 

  
  


They’ve stopped kissing by the time Shep gets home, sitting side-by-side on the couch, Penny’s head on Agatha’s shoulder with another mindless movie on the TV.

“How was it?” Shep asks, pressing a kiss to the top of Penny’s head as he walks past.

“Good,” Penny says, Agatha humming in agreement from her side. “How about you?” She asks to be polite, because they both know that she doesn’t want the details, and Shep smiles.   
“Good.” He rolls his shoulders. “Might need some ice.”

Agatha laughs, sitting up straight and stretching her arms. “I better go.” She presses a kiss to Penny’s cheek as she stands, and fetches her coat from the door. “Have a nice night.”

“You too,” Penny and Shep respond in unison, Penny still from the couch and Shep from the kitchen.

“So,” Shep says, settling onto the couch, an ice pack on his shoulder. “You two had fun?”

“We always do,” Penny tells him, out of habit more than anything, dropping her head onto his shoulder and staring at the glowing television screen. She doesn’t know how to broach the next conversation-- it was one thing for her and Shep to discuss his relationship with Simon and Baz, something that didn’t include her and honestly didn’t change all that much about their relationship, aside from the fact that her boyfriend was now also dating two of her best friends, but to talk about  _ her?  _ To talk about her relationship without him, to tell him that she and Agatha had kissed and planned to do it more, it felt… Well, suffice to say, she still had a lot to learn in this polyamory department. She decides on the easiest route. “We kissed tonight.”

“You and me?” It’s a joke, she can feel his lip curl up in a smile.

“Me and Agatha,” she clarifies, turning her head to better see Shepard’s profile in the dim light of their shared apartment. “She wants something casual.”

He turned towards her, glasses glinting. “Is that what  _ you _ want?” His expression is sincere. “I know you’re okay with me dating the guys, but if you don’t want to date other people, you don’t  _ have _ to.”

Penny thinks for a moment, about how nice it’s been to share her spare evenings with Agatha, how, despite never thinking that she even  _ liked _ girls, kissing her felt  _ right _ . She doesn’t want a girlfriend, per se, but a friend who likes to kiss her, she can handle.

“Yeah,” she decides, nodding and turning back to the screen. “It is what I want.”

The next time Agatha comes over, Penny greets her with a kiss. It’s quick and casual and she feels her smile against her lips before she pulls away. 

“Got a movie picked out?” she asks, just like always, as if kisses between friends change nothing.

“Yup.” Penny pops the ‘p’ at the end of the word, grinning as they drift to the couch. The movie is only half-watched and the wine barely poured, but they got drunk nonetheless on the touch of one-another, on kisses and holding and breathing.

  
  


It’s their new rhythm, a new habit. Their kisses come naturally, there’s no monumental shift. It just becomes a part of them, a new way of living, a new form of greeting, of filling time, of sharing space.

  
  


“How’s your foray into lesbianism?” Shep jokingly asks one night, nudging her shoulder as they cook dinner side-by-side.

Penny sighs and shakes her head, smiling as she nudges him back. “It’s a little weird to think about, if I’m being honest?” she says, kneading a ball of roti dough. “My roommate in school was a lesbian, Simon and Baz are two of my best friends, and I’ve known Agatha for years, but somehow it never crossed my mind that I… I don’t know, liked girls? It feels a little weird to say that.”

“Sexuality is weird,” Shep responds sagely, nodding his head. “And trust me, it’s always weird to say it out loud at first.” He thought for a moment. “But maybe it’s not  _ all _ girls you like, maybe it’s just Agatha.”

“I mean, it’s... I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.” She hesitates. “I don’t really think I like all  _ guys _ either. I know I liked my ex, at least when we first started dating, and I know I like you, and I know I like Agatha, but I never really think about the people I find attractive outside of… The people I’m dating.” Her heart pounds for a reason she can’t place-- maybe it’s the fact that she’s used to being “the straight friend” of the group, and now she is most definitely  _ not _ .

“You know, I’ve mentioned demisexuality to Simon recently,” Shep muses, grabbing the rolling pin and board from the cupboard. “It’s only being attracted to people that you have an emotional connection with.” He glances over to her and she hands him a torn-off twelfth of the dough.

“Maybe…” she shrugs and continues to tear the dough into pieces. “But this was supposed to be for Agatha to sort things out.”

Shep smiles and tugs her in close with one arm, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “Doesn’t mean you can’t either, Pen.”

  
  


“I think I’ve figured it out,” Agatha announces the next evening they have alone. Her legs are draped over Penny’s lap and Penny is absent-mindedly rubbing the soles of her feet as another cliche romance movie plays across the screen.

“Figured what out?” Penny asks. “The plot of this movie? Because I have too.” She gestures to the lead actress on the screen, nearly running over the male lead. “She’s going to fall in love with him in less than a week and they’re going to get married.”

“Not that,” she says, kicking Penny’s side with her foot. “The whole… Romance thing. For me.”

Penny’s heart beats faster, recalling her conversation with Shepard and her own long-thought-out feelings on “the whole romance thing,” but instead of voicing them (not yet, not just yet), she nods and hums her encouragement to continue.

“It doesn’t really feel different,” she explains, eyes glued to the wine in her glass as she gently swirls it around. “Kissing Simon, when he was my boyfriend and it was romantic and I did… I did  _ like _ him, it feels no different to kissing you, as a friend and liking you as a friend.” Her brown eyes dart up to meet Penny’s as a blush begins to grow across her cheeks. “It’s, uh, less of seeing someone and wanting to date them romantically, and more of saying that I’ll act romantic with this person and a friend with this one, you know?”

“Action, not attraction,” Penny muses, taking a sip of her own drink.   
“Hmm?” Agatha looks up.

“Shep, he, uh, explained to me that some asexual people don’t feel attraction but still choose to be in sexual relationships. Because asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of sexual action.” Penny leans her head back on the sofa, turning slightly to meet Agatha’s gaze. “Maybe it’s the same way you feel about romance?”

Agatha’s lips purse and, in that moment, there is nothing Penny wants more than to kiss her, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t because she’s certain where this will end-- with Agatha politely saying that “this was fun, but now that I know how my feelings work, we shouldn’t do this anymore” and Penny, Penny who’s only recently realized that maybe she’s only attracted to people she knows well, Penny whose come to realize that maybe she likes Agatha as more than just a friend, will have to resign herself to the fact that her feelings are not reciprocated.

“Yes,” she whispers, smiling slightly. “That’s exactly it.” Her smile broadens and her shoulders drop, a laugh rising from her in sheer relief. “Crowley, it feels so good to  _ know _ ,” she sighs, tipping her head back to hang over the sofa arm. 

Penny ignores the tightness in her chest and forces a smile. “I’m glad I could help.”

“But the thing is,” Agatha begins again, quieter this time. “I… really enjoyed this. Us. The kissing-as-friends,” she admits. “And I’d kind of like to keep doing it.”

She tries to hide the relief on her face, but it’s impossible. Even more impossible when Agatha leans forward and captures her lips with her own.

And when Penny breathes out the words “I’m demisexual,” between kisses and feels Agatha smile against her lips, whispering “Congrats,” before kissing her once more?

She can almost say she’s never felt happier.


End file.
